I'm going to give father time a Red Bull so he will speed up time and make it to where Thursday gets here faster. Not really. But I would if I could.
Tomorrow I'm going to get up at 5:00 a.m so Ben's mom can pick me up before she goes to work. Then I may or may not stay there until 10:00 p.m. If I'm lucky I'll get to stay until 11:00 p.m. And then Friday will be our three month anniversary and he wants to take me out to dinner. I don't know where we are going to go but after we're going to the store and he said that he would get me a few books. I know it sounds geeky (him getting me books) but I asked him to get me some because I'm running out of books to read in my collection. but anywho... I bored of doing this entry so I'm going to go now....

There is like, NO FOOD in this house. You know what I had for breakfast? Oatmeal. I DETEST oatmeal. I want some good Italian food. Or some Mexican food. Ugh I'm just making myself hungry. I'm thirsty. I'm going to drink some coffee and then take a shower. I don't know what I'm going to do today, I might meditate for a few hours. Can't wait until Thursday and Friday. *sigh*... I need a vacation.

I haven't posted in a while. I've been rather busy lately and haven't found the time to post.
At the beginning of the summer my family (immediate) started having money problems. We lost our electricity, and then we lost our house. Finally, we moved in with my uncle in June and we have been here since. Today we bought a trailer in the Bonner Springs trailer court and we will be moving in this weekend. I am very glad that we will finally have a place of our own. We have been renting houses and trailers for years now and we have finally been able to buy something.

Recent Future

Thursday Ben is off work and I will be spending the day with him. Friday will be our three month and he wants to take me out to dinner. Saturday I will be moving all day from the Edwardsville trailer court to the Bonner Springs trailer court. And Sunday... I don't know what I will be doing Sunday. Next Tuesday school will be starting. I am very thankful Ben got his schedule changed from evenings to mornings. That way, he will be getting off work by the time I get off school.
Mom and dad got some money today and sometime this weekend (so I will be doing something Sunday) we will be getting school clothes and supplies.
But anyways, mom wants to get on so I have to end this post shortly - which I did not intend on doing. I wish Thursday would hurry up and get here so that I may be care-free and happy once again. Only when I am around him do I get in that mood.

I realize that he is the only person who is really helping me through this. During the month that we have stayed here (at my uncle's house), I've realized that I love him more than anything. I can't wait until we move out of here. I can't wait until we've settled down somewhere (hopefully Bonner or Edwardsville), because I want to see him. Not everyday, but almost. In fact, since we have lived with my uncle, I've started to love him even more than I already did.
I'm always waiting for that call at night. I'm always hoping that I can see him this day, or that day. I can't wait until I get to see his face again, to be able to hold him - touch him. To be able to hear his laugh, and see his smile. Without him, I sort of fall apart. I know it sounds pathetic, but each time he leaves to go home, or I leave to go home, half of me will always go with him.
I spend my time exhausting my mind and body so that I don't have to sit around and wither away thinking about him all day. Though whenever I try to occupy myself, I still think about him. He's just so...wonderful. Yes, I know that he has his flaws, but I don't know those flaws yet. I know the Ben that loves me, the Ben who is there for me, and the Ben I love. He means everything to me.

Bide within the Law you must, in perfect Love and perfect Trust.
Live you must and let to live, fairly take and fairly give.

For tread the Circle thrice about to keep unwelcome spirits out.
To bind the spell well every time, let the spell be said in rhyme.

Light of eye and soft of touch, speak you little, listen much.
Honor the Old Ones in deed and name,
let love and light be our guides again.

Deosil go by the waxing moon, chanting out the joyful tune.
Widdershins go when the moon doth wane,
and the werewolf howls by the dread wolfsbane.

When the Lady's moon is new, kiss the hand to Her times two.
When the moon rides at Her peak then your heart's desire seek.

Heed the North winds mighty gale, lock the door and trim the sail.
When the Wind blows from the East, expect the new and set the feast.

When the wind comes from the South, love will kiss you on the mouth.
When the wind whispers from the West, all hearts will find peace and rest.

Nine woods in the Cauldron go, burn them fast and burn them slow.
Birch in the fire goes to represent what the Lady knows.

Oak in the forest towers with might, in the fire it brings the God's
insight.   Rowan is a tree of power causing life and magick to flower.

Willows at the waterside stand ready to help us to the Summerland.
Hawthorn is burned to purify and to draw faerie to your eye.

Hazel-the tree of wisdom and learning adds its strength to the bright fire burning.
White are the flowers of Apple tree that brings us fruits of fertility.

Grapes grow upon the vine giving us both joy and wine.
Fir does mark the evergreen to represent immortality seen.

Elder is the Lady's tree burn it not or cursed you'll be.
Four times the Major Sabbats mark in the light and in the dark.

As the old year starts to wane the new begins, it's now Samhain.
When the time for Imbolc shows watch for flowers through the snows.

When the wheel begins to turn soon the Beltane fires will burn.
As the wheel turns to Lamas night power is brought to magick rite.

Four times the Minor Sabbats fall use the Sun to mark them all.
When the wheel has turned to Yule light the log the Horned One rules.

In the spring, when night equals day time for Ostara to come our way.
When the Sun has reached it's height time for Oak and Holly to fight.

Harvesting comes to one and all when the Autumn Equinox does fall.
Heed the flower, bush, and tree by the Lady blessed you'll be.

Where the rippling waters go cast a stone, the truth you'll know.
When you have and hold a need, harken not to others greed.

With a fool no season spend or be counted as his friend.
Merry Meet and Merry Part bright the cheeks and warm the heart.

Mind the Three-fold Laws you should three times bad and three times good.
When misfortune is enow wear the star upon your brow.

Be true in love this you must do unless your love is false to you.

These Eight words the Rede fulfill:

"An Ye Harm None, Do What Ye Will"

It would have to be Chinese. I love Chinese food and if you think about it, if it's cooked right, it's not that fattening,. If you take out all of the sweets and stuff then you have yourself a healthy diet.

I don't really regret anything. I mean, I still practically am in my youth. I try not to regret things, because regretting things that you have already done doesn't help the situation. I try not to regret things, because you should reflect, and learn from the things that you have done, not regret them.

I had a friend ask me where I got my username. Athenesic is the Native American moon Goddess of several north central Native American tribes, particularly the Iroquois and Huron.  She is associated with water.
I chose this name because the moon means a lot to me.
Now if you don't mind, I would like to briefly tell you of the moon and the way different people see her.

There are many stories about the moon from all over the world. The Native Hawaiians talk about how Hina fled to the moon after she got tired of working for her brother.
A Navajo myth tells about how the moon goddess Yolaikaison was formed from an abalone shell.
The Bushmen of Southern Africa say that a Lunar Eclipse is caused by a lion reaching up and covering the full moon with his paw so that he can hunt in the dark.
Even those who don't consider the moon sacred have beliefs about it or explanations of its changes. Many cultures have linked the moon with change, death, and rebirth, and many cultures consider the moon to have feminine powers because of how it affects menstruation.
Eclipses are often seen as a sign of bad luck. In the Middle Ages in Europe, there were many superstitions about the moon, such as sleeping in moonlight would cause someone to go insane, and the word lunatic comes from the Latin word for moon. Werewolves were thought to appear on the night of a full moon.
Many people had stories about the markings on the moon, such as "the Man in the Moon" who had been imprisoned there for breaking the Sabbath.
Some people have thought that there was life on the moon, such as the Greek writer Plutarch, who wrote about moon demons who lived in caves, and the astronomer W. H. Pickering, who in the 1920s thought that insects might live on the moon.

The world could do without guns, and bombs and all that. I think the world would be a better place if there were no guns or bombs. However, that may or may not make people resort back to swords and such. Wars would be bloodier, and more drawn out and long. But seriously, swords don't give off toxic chemicals that hurt people's lungs or diminish the O-Zone layer. Swords don't wipe out a whole city within five seconds.
And with today's medical technology, doctors can save more people from a sword wound. Guns can shoot someone in the head and they could die instantly. Swords, however, you can run someone through in the stomach and perhaps the wounded person will live.
Whether or not guns are a modern invention of not, I honestly don't care.

Yesterday

Had a nice time with Ben yesterday. My interview went quite nicely.
Though earlier in the day yesterday, I sort of got agitated at Ben. Well, everyone that was there. They just would not shut up about Elizabeth. Elizabeth is Ben's ex-girlfriend. She has a livejournal, I've seen it and they were looking on there. Well, Melody was. I guess I got a tad bit jealous because they kept going on about her. It's okay to talk about her for a max of five minutes but an almost hour long conversation about her is just too much.
I guess Ben sensed that I was feeling down because he kept asking if I was alright. Maybe I should not have told him that I was alright and I should have told him that I was bothered by the fact that they were talking about his ex-girlfriend. Later in the day I told him and he said he was sorry and I forgive him. That's in the past now so on with what has happened today.

Today

My dad and uncle were talking and my uncle says, "Yeah, I am never going to get married ever again."
My dad replies, "I would never get married if me and my wife divorced." My mother, affronted, asked my dad, "Is being married to me really that bad?" My dad said, "Yes it is."
I, however, was not there to hear it. I was in the bath and I heard what transpired from my mother and sister. When I heard that I got so angry. If my dad were home I would have yelled at him. Unfortunately, he had driven off somewhere without telling anyone where he was going. He just makes me so pissed off. Every little thing he does or says makes me tick. I've stopped referring to him as kin but I don't know what else to call him. See, he does not know that in my mind, he is not my father. He just does not get it. Perhaps he is too simple-minded.

I sung the bumble bee song to my mother for about an hour. I didn't annoy her. In fact, it amuses her when I do try to annoy her. When she finally told me to shut up, I smiled and went on singing the worm song and the Peanut song. Finally she interrupted me every time I tried to sing so I gave up. Checked my facebook, and now I am on here. Why I started blogging, I don't know the answer to that question. Maybe I'm bored and I have nothing else to do for the next four days until my boyfriend gets off work. But I will let you go for now.

Today is a day to remember things. Because I say so. :) 
Called the Ren Fest today. I have an interview Wednesday at 3 p.m.
Tomorrow is me and Ben's two month and I want to do something special for him. I'm one of those people, you know? We are supposed to go to a birthday party for a few hours and then we will have the rest of the day all to ourselves. No doubt he'll do something spontaneous yet romantic. I love that boy. Oh, yes. I know it says that I am an adult but let me tell you a secret. I'm only 15, however, I have a mind that works like I am 30. I have the mind of a middle aged woman, yet I have the emotions -and the hormones- of a teenager. How twisted.
No I am not a Christian. I am Wiccan and proud to be one. My boyfriend is Agnostic and I have no qualms about that. (Now I shall tell you the story of how we met). Yayyy. :) 

Ben's real name is Olin, however, when he introduced himself he called himself Ben and the name stuck. Ben comes from his middle name, Benjamin. And he is one of the most wonderful guys I have ever met.
The first time I met Ben was on Halloween. It was a very short encounter and I thought he was very weird. I barely knew his younger sister, though she was the person I and my friends were looking for. Sadly, Melody was grounded, I believe. Sucks to be grounded on Halloween. I did not know Ben's name at the time.

I officially met Ben a day during this summer when we went to go get Melody. While we were on their porch he came outside and started talking to us. Then we were going to leave and then we invited him along and he started hanging out with us. After a week or so I started to like him, and I did not know if he liked me or not. It was obvious, though, because I was flirting with him a lot.

About two or three weeks after meeting him, we were walking around and he said, "I need to talk to you." So I hung back from the group with him and walked behind them. "I've let a lot of opportunities pass up and well...I'm not going to let this one go." I looked at him quizzically and asked, "I haven't the least idea what you are talking about." I had already convinced myself that he did not like me a few days before.

"...Wanna go out sometime?" he asked me. Shocked I walked in silence for a minute. Finally I said, "Let me think about it." He nodded and then we followed the group up onto his porch. A few hours later they invited me to go to his graduation ceremony with them. (His family. His mom, younger brother, and sister. His father and mother are still married but his father was wrongly accused of something he did not do so he is away). I said yes and had to go home to do the dishes and get ready. After I dressed I kissed my mom goodbye and walked over to his house. (Which, by the way, is two streets over).

We drove to the high school (Ben is eighteen, will be nineteen come December), and went to the ceremony. I thought about why and why not I should date him. I really liked him, but he was eighteen, and I was fifteen. He was a gentleman, but my mother would still see our relationship as sick. A plus was that he was still a virgin. I know for a fact because he and his whole family knows that he only had one girlfriend before me. I don't like her. From what I hear of her she was a bitch to him. SHE broke up with HIM. How could you throw away such a wonderful man? There are few men like him in the world. Getting off track there...

After the ceremony I seriously considered telling him yet Melody and I could not find him after and when we did we immediately had to leave and I did not want to tell him in a car full of his family. It was late by the time we got back to his house and he offered to walk me home. Melody had to come (I don't know why though), so we all walked the two streets to my house. Melody was beside me and Ben was in front of my and all of a sudden I said, "Yes." Melody and Ben were like, "What?" I looked at Ben and said, "The answer to your question earlier today. Yes." He smiled slightly and hugged me. He didn't kiss me, he told me later, because he thought it too forward. I understood and silently agreed.

(The wonderful end). ;) But NOT the end of our relationship. Tomorrow is Wednesday, the 14th of July. Tomorrow is our two month. And I really do hope that we will last a long time.

Anywho, continuing on my rant of his ex. Yes, she was a complete and total bitch. And ugly. I'm not being malicious. My sister is friends with her on facebook and she is one ugly motha fucka. She is an emo wanna-be bitch who is arrogant and narccistic. The reason why my sister is friends with her is because my sister wants to "keep tabs on her". I wouldn't even want to be cyber friends with that bitch. What she did to him makes me want to beat the shit out of her. She took him, made him think that she loved him, and broke him. She told him, "I don't love you. I could never love you." Why would you tell that to someone who really loved you?! Hm? If I had been him, I would not have taken that silently and comforted her. I would have been like, bitch get the fuck off me and take your whorish ass to hell.

Thing is, she is might be at this birthday party me and if she starts any shit I will kick her ass. I even told Ben so. He said to me, "She might be there, and that's kinda why I don't want to go." I replied, "Well if she starts any shit I'll kick her ass." He was like, "Okay." See, Ben is a pacifist. I'm a fighter. I enjoy fighting. He doesn't. But that is what he likes about me and what I like about him. He said he likes how I don't deal with anyone's shit. I like how he can talk his way out of things, probably because patience is a quality I do not have.


Anyhow, that is it for the day. I hope you had a wonderful time reading this. I sure as hell enjoyed typing it.